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Chayei Sarah: Living a Full Life
 “He lived a full Life”Sounds like something I’d like said about me after I’m gone. Sure beats “He lived an empty one!” But what exactly constitutes a full life? I remember being particularly struck by a neighbor of mine when I lived in San Francisco a number of years back. I used to occasionally see her rushing with one of her daughters to one activity or another. Monday and Wednesday was soccer, Tuesday and Thursday was dance, and so on and so forth. You could get dizzy just watching all that commotion. Certainly she must have lived a full life – a life filled with all sorts of important activities. There are lots of people out there like my neighbor. I meet them all the time. In fact, I sometimes think I’m one of them as I rush from work to workout and from rehearsal to recital. We certainly live full lives – don’t we? It sure seems that way - or at least I might have thought so had I not glanced at this week’s Torah reading, which brings us to the close of our forefather Avraham’s life. The founder and CEO of the Jewish people certainly lived a highly productive existence as an activist who founded both a people and a religion that would ultimately change the very face of civilization. We could certainly point to a myriad of accomplishments if we wished to eulogize someone as accomplished as Avraham, yet the Torah sums his life up with what appears to be a very simple understated description. “And Avraham was old, well on in years.” That’s all the Torah says. Seems straightforward enough at first glance, but truth be told, this is really more of an idiomatic translation. In fact, the literal reading of the verse reads: “And Avraham was old, he came with his days.” Now what does that mean? I can’t say for sure, but here’s my definition of what it means to live a full life: Every human being comes into this world with tremendous potential - most of it of course unrealized - and as we go through life, our job is to bring out more and more of that latent potential. The degree to which we realize our potential determines how fully we’ve lived our life. We can attempt to realize our potential by pursuing our own ideas about who we are and what we need to accomplish, but when we take an honest look back at the life we’ve lived, we’ll inevitably find that much of who we are and what we’ve accomplished has nothing to do with what our own ideas were on the subject. Instead, to a very large degree, we are the product of the unforeseen challenges and opportunities that life has thrown our way. In other words, the days of our lives and the tests and opportunities that they carry with them are what bring out our potential. Our challenge is whether or not we can be open to where those days bring us. Can we come with our days like Avraham? Can we accept what life brings our way, or are we going to insist on trying to keep our own two hands on the steering wheel? One thing seems clear to me: we won’t even have a chance of being present in “the moment” to even recognize the challenges and opportunities that those days drop in front of our faces if we fill our lives with activities and distractions, and even more importantly, if we fill our minds with all sorts of thinking about our past and our future. I believe it’s no coincidence that Avraham and all of our other forefathers and foremothers were shepherds. Their peaceful and quiet lifestyle in the dramatic landscapes of the ancient Middle East, under the vast star-filled skies enabled them to contemplate with wonder their own existence and come to understand themselves and their world in profound way. It enabled them to live big. They didn’t spend most of their time in regret about the past or worry about the future, and that’s why their minds and their eyes were open enough to reflect upon the mysteries of the present. We’re probably not going to become shepherds anytime soon, but as we plow through our busy lives in our SUVs with our in-boxes full and our cell phones and Blackberries buzzing away, our minds filled with thoughts about what happened, or didn’t happen, or what will or will not be, we may want to take a moment to reflect upon the words of our sages: “Anyone who focuses his attention upon that which isn’t his, not only is that which he seeks not given to him, but that which he already has is taken away from him.” (Babylonian Talmud Sota 9a) The past is gone, and the future is yet to come. They’re not ours! The present is the only thing we really have, but it’s gone the moment our attention goes elsewhere. As you read this, stop and take a moment to listen in on your own thoughts. See for yourself how much time we spend talking to ourselves and thinking about what doesn’t even exist. See if you can quiet your mind down and just be in the moment. See if you can feel the difference. Do it for five minutes! It may not seem like much of an accomplishment, but even a brief realization about the nature of our inner life can be significant. Don’t forget - a little crack can shed a lot of light in a dark room. If we can succeed in opening up a little space in our busy lives we too, like Avraham, may one day be able to say about ourselves that we came with our days, and truly lived full lives. |