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Accident Gratitude
 Last this past Sunday morning I ran our car into a telephone pole near Bellingham. Our entire family was in the car.It’s amazing how much time one has to think during the precious seconds between the realization that you are going have a car accident and the impact itself. “The Children! The Children!” repeated itself at incredibly high decibel levels over and over again. “Since I won’t be missing the pole, should we hit it head on, or should I try to slide into it sideways? Why didn’t I get a car with better air bags? The Children! I’m sorry Techiya!” I’ve never had a silent scream before. I wish I could tell you I was praying to G-d to protect us. Then we hit the electric pole. There was a loud noise and I saw white. The front of the car buckled around the pole. Techiya and I jumped out of the car simultaneously in a moment of terror. All the kids were crying. An unbelievably fantastic sign. There was a rush of relief and gratitude. We all walked out of the car with just bruises. The front of the car looked like an accordion. Another wave of gratitude. We were thanking G-d and everyone was crying tears of joy. Tears of Joy. Now we are getting to the point of this essay. Many long hours later, I was lying in bed in a nearby motel and I began to be visited by thoughts of guilt and remorse. Terrible thoughts of what might have happened. Then something else occurred to me. A person could spend much of their time thinking thoughts like this about their life. All the things that did go “wrong” or could have gone worse. At any moment in our lives, there are so many things not working out the way we want them to, “going wrong”, or hanging in the balance. So many things going wrong. So many things going right. The Torah says that things don’t go wrong or right, they go as they should go, and even the parts we don’t personally like in truth are a gift in disguise. We are being taken care of, and that includes our challenges. “HaKol L’Tova”, goes the saying in Hebrew-everything is positive. To a cynical person, that sounds like a rationalization. To a grateful person, that looks like the truth. Painful, difficult occurrences don’t mean that they are not also part of the same gift we all share in this life. Would I be singing a different tune had we not all walked out of that car on Sunday? I hope not. Even if I was, it wouldn’t make this principle any less true. Negativity or gratitude are not responses to what occurs to us, they are two potential orientations to life. Negativity is the response of the personal ego, gratitude comes from the soul. The ego thinks life is an entitlement and burdensome, the soul sees it as an unbelievable gift. We are all going to dip into negativity, fear, and cynicism from time to time, but the question is, do we want to look past it as a temporary bus stop in mental pessimismville or do we think we’ve arrived somewhere? In our quiet moments, we all can feel the truth of where the Torah points us. “HaKol L’Tova”- this life is better than good, and is something to be cherished in its entirety. The Torah is constantly pointing towards walking through our everyday simple moments with gratitude. The Jewish spiritual measurement of wealth is the amount of gratitude they are bringing to their life. I have a friend who also had an accident recently and his children were in the car. They were severely injured and one of them recently had to have a shunt put in his brain. This friend, Rabbi Elazar Grunberger and his wife Bracha of Aish St. Louis, understands more profoundly than most people I have met that this life is gift. They are going through this experience with so much gratitude that they are teaching hundreds of people just simply by being them. These are his words from an email just days ago. “There's a lot to be thankful for and there's ever so much to daven (pray) for. We shouldn't just daven (pray) for our basics when in need or when we are at a loss; we should appreciate our basics of health and family with gratitude and expression everyday. How much richer and happier our lives would be with this little effort. I know this and you know this but I have been negligent and perhaps it's worth mentioning.” I have learned from my experience this week that truth and gratitude walk hand in hand, and that when I’m living in dissatisfaction, cynicism, or irritation, I’m simply out of sync with the incredible beauty that is all about us. Chaim Levine |